Sar the Irken
by havaneselover
Summary: Invader Sar is an elite irken invader with a mission from the tallest: destroy zim. But what will happen when things change? this is set 5 years after Zim arrives on earth
1. Spaceships, robot yoga, and waffles

The spelling and grammar may not be perfect, but i have school, homework, a fish tank, a dog, and friends to take care of before i can write this. So i mainly write it right before i go to bed, when i have the most ideas. Thats why there are a couple mistakes. Whatever. Also i tried to keep the original characters personalities as similiar as possible, but theyre not perfect. And this takes place 5 years after zim arrives (hes in tenth grade now) so you could say they changed a little during that time.

Zim, Dib, and Gaz and other irken characters and technology belong to jhonen vasquez and nickelodeon.

- 5 years after Zim arrived on Earth

"We have a mission for you Sar. We need you to find Zim and then exterminate him from the universe." "I see" Sar says. She as well as every other irken knew the horror Zim has caused the the irkens in impending doom, killing 2 tallest, and 7 years of power outtages.

Tallest red "Zim is causing too many problems and delays. And although he can be good for a laugh, he'll find a way to destroy the armada if we let him live."

"yeah" purple says as popcorn cascades out of his mouth.

"Do you understand?" red asks, his ruby orb eyes watching me intently.

"yes, my tallest." they act like a God. They bug me, greatly, but I'd be destroyed if they ever knew that.

I load my supplies and new SIR robot onto my ripper. Unlike Zim, I have located a small wormhole that travels approximately from the solar system beside Irks to the planet Jupiter in the earths solar system. In the 5 days in the wormhole I can **create another SIR robot and learn about the humans and most important of all, spy on Zim.**

My assigned SIR robot is named kaos. It stands for Killer Assailant Optimum System. It's also like the human word for disaster and malfunction. I am to use this to doom zim with destroying his base and weapons. This SIR has big neon purple eyes and follows orders most of the time.

"Ok, kaos. Lets see what Zim is doing." I take my incredibly powerful telescope and see him at an odd table. He has a wig on and is reluctantly eating square food units while a strangely cute voice screams when he rejects a plate of the food. "thats enough of that... He must have a defective SIR unit. Just one weakness we shall prey on."

Later I search through a book of earth animalia and find a fierce looking flying animal called a hawk that would be a good disguise for kaos.

"kaos, what do you think of this one?"

"ooh i'd look cool!.. Wait.. Yes master, it looks scary."

"Ok we'll make your disguise when we get there." tonight i start on the next SIR unit. This is gonna take a while.

- the next day

28 earth hours later, I finish jade, an incredibly advanced SIR. She has green eyes and swift and deadly movements. Her earth disguise shall be a fox. Her name stands for Job (assistant) Advanced Douche Eliminator. I came up with that myself, the douche being Zim, of course.

"Time to make my earth disguise to fit in with the inhabitants of this dirt ball" I muttered. I look at hundreds of people styles and decide to be a female in adolescence. My 'hair' has two buns that is a mix of golden color, red color, and brown color. My eyes will be closer to the color of the H2O, with things called pupils and irises. The clothes are supposed to change everyday, so I picked out a selection of interchangeble outfits for my hologram. I'll look perfectly like the homo sapiens, besides the fact my hologram cant perfectly cover up my dark irken skin. The only reason Taks could was because she was exceptionally pale.

- 4 days later

"We are almost there jade." I was currently fixing kaos main brain control in his head so he could fly like a earth bird could.

"whats that mistress?" she asks innocently and points at a blue/green ball.

"zims planet." I say as I snap shut kaos's head. "Also known as planet earth. Im going to send out a irken signal to find his base, and we'll create ours near there." We find his base, and make a base not far to walk to from there.

Mine looks more like a human house. But I have something called a pool to deter him, as irkens skin burns from the acidicy in water pollutants. But some earth ingredients can protect me from that. It looks like one story from the outside, a plain rectangular shape made of rock mixed with water and hardened. It is tan in color, and the roof is made of brown metal. There are mysterious plants with fronds on top of them, and small plants called grass that you cut that make an outdoor carpet. In the back beside the pool is a large tree with a wooden treehouse in it for my telescope. There is an elevator that goes up and down the trunk.

**The inside of the home is small, with a place for eating food, an entertainment center. A place where humans do revolting things for hygiene, and a room with a large comfy cushion that humans need to be unconscious for several hours a day. If you press a part of a wall in the hallway it opens to an elevator, which leads to my base. It is layed out similiar to zims, but mine is bigger and more advanced. My "parents" are just a hypnotized couple in their late thirties in earth years. One has brown hair and the other blonde. Their story is we move around alot for the father job and they met at college. **

- the next morning

Apparently I have to go to a place called hiskool and encounter zim almost every day. Although it will take up my time, it may help my operation.

I select a yellow non-sleeved shirt with a short blue skirt with my hologram face which I added freckles to at the last minute. Anyways, Jade will monitor the base while kaos is searching through zims base for his SIR unit and make him even more dysfunctional.

I look at a map on he computer and find the location of the skool and use a human skateboard to get there.

I look through the crowd and I can spot him instantly. He is so obvious with his invader uniform and green skin. I mean, I may have slightly green skin because my hologram only works so well, But he is so obvious. I managed to convince the leader of the skool to make me be in all his classes. Zim eyes me suspiciously, but then shrugs and turns away.

"I want you all to all to meet the new addition to the class, Sar." Mr. Waynerd says. I try to smile as it is a greeting to these inferior creatures.

"why is your skin green like zims?" a blue haired girl asks. I panic for a moment, but come up with a fine excuse.

"It's the newest fashion statement this year... For girls." zim gives me a nasty look,and I smile back.

I walk over to the uncomfy chair where I must sit in for hours of my mission, but it is vital to be close to Zim. Maybe dissing him wasnt a good idea, I thought. Oh well, I'll make it up to him.

Later, I return home in a sprinkle of water from the sky. Such weird weather, hopefully kaos got back and stuck to the plan and didn't short circuit in the rain. Although he is supposed to destroy zim, he doesnt always follow orders. I return relieved to find kaos and jade unharmed.

I ask Kaos "So, did you mess up the GIR unit?"

"No, GIRS my friend, I couldn't."

"oh well"

GIR is practicing yoga with the scary monkey show on the TV. "Hiya masta!"

"Hello GIR."

"I played with Kaos today!"

"Chaos?"

"yeah! We did yoga!" Zim brushes away the remark, figuring it to be the monkey or one of GIRs toys like the pig or the octopus.

"Computer, give Zim a analysis of my geography homework. I have no time for learning about the earth now, i must work on my new project for earths DOOM !"

Later I march over to the 'couch' and sit with my minions. "What type of food was zim eating when we spied on him computer? "

"searching. A morning meal called waffles."

"hmm, make me some."

"yes, Sar." 10 or so minutes later, I took a bite of the toasty square units, or waffles.

"not bad."

"Computer, what are some challenges of zims since his arrival?.."

"Well, theres a large headed boy named Dib that knows his true identity."

"good, good."

"but the greater population believes him to be insane."

"haa!"

"a relative of his also knows hes an alien but thinks he will never be able to succeed with anything."

"So true.. Tell me more about this Dib."


	2. Dib Alliance

The next day Dib found himself talking to the new girl. He told her all about zim, and befriended him. He is very useful for information, and he can help her since he isn't as moronic as the majority of his species.

"So, Sar, where'd you live before moving here?"

" I used to live in Washington State. My family moves around a lot for my dads job. Thats why I have a bunch of pets, for friends."

" Oh, cool. everybody here hates me because they don't believe in aliens or bigfoot, so sometimes I wish I could move."

"hmm, well I believe you."

"yeah I know. We'll be famous! We can infiltrate his base and reveal him to the world!" Dib said excitedly. Just then, Zim walks over.

I'd probably be his friend on irk, as we both are quite rebellious. I was even born with eyes that dont reperesent the empire, blue. Her ancestors changed their DNA to show they didn't support the Empire, and never would. Red, green, and purple eyed irkens are generally more loyal to the tallest and they are the majority because in the smeeteries they have tried to make my bloodline go extinct but need some of of DNA to keep enough diversity. Its possible to become blue or yellow eyed irken of high status (there are only two alive, me and inv. Dooky, but we can never become a tallest because of our ancestors rebelliosuness. The control brains made sure of that.

"Dib-monkey, why are you talking to the new girl?"

he knudges me with his elbow "He's crazy yknow" he whispers to my holograms ear.

"whatever." I answer and Dib tells him to back off, he's not crazy- and his head isn't big. Zim shrugs and marches away in his usual fashion.

Dib and I make plans to meet everyday a few hours after school,and work onour "plan". But I don't like the idea of my plan anymore.. Zim seems harmless. Why do I have to kill him? I think I'd agree with Gaz on this subject. I try asking her about Zim at lunch but she tells me to leave or she'll send me to a nightmare world of which there is no awakening if I bug her while shes playing her Gameslave 6.

So instead I sit by zim during the day meal- lunch. "hello, Zim."

"human." he sniffs the toxic waste on his plate and nearly upchucks. I brought my own lunch. A bag of chips and a soda with an irken insignia on the bottom. He doesn't even notice. He's focused on his hatred for Dib, muttering to himself about all the ways he could capture him. "Well Zim, do you have any pets?"

"Yeah, Zim owns a dog named GIR."

"why'd you name him that?"

"Zim does not know... Im NORMAL!"

Every day that week and the week after Sar sat next to Zim during lunch. Zim questioned her at first, as NO ONE DARED sit next to the almighty Zim, but he got used to it. He wondered why she seemed to know so much about him. That night, he looked through his satellite monitors to see if any ships arrived on the planet. He was stunned to see that an irken ripper landed somewhere in the city two weeks before. "Tak" he said.


	3. Whaaat! You're an alien!

This chapter kind of disses the tallest, and im a huge tallest fan, so, yeah its not that i dont like them but they are the antagonists of the story.

The next morning-

Today I plan on showing Dib my base. Maybe he can help me convince myself to continue my mission for the feeling of rebel in me just won't go away. It hasn't since the day I was born. But now, its getting stronger and stronger the longer I'm on this filthy rock. I'm scaring myself by feeling so rebellious. But that might just be my PAK talking.

"Hey dib, you wanna come to my house after school? We can work on our plan?" I ask sweetly.

"Sure" he says, hes more focused on getting zims wig to fall off. He may be smart for a human, but he's still kind of stupid, even compared to Zim.

Later, Dib and I walk down the sidewalk while he's talking his huge head off about Zims appearance and his speculation of what other fauna might be on his planet. Almost there, I thought.

We approach my relatively normal looking house, and Dib seems relieved somehow. Maybe he suspected I was an irken, and that I have a house like Zims. Luckily I'm much more observant than him, his house looks like a 6 year old drawing rather than a normal human habitat. I open the door to a fox and a hawk and walk in. Dib looks at me suspiciously.

"You never told me you owned a fox and eagle."

"Its a hawk, Dib. And I did tell you I had some pets."

We walked down the hallway, but I stopped right in the middle. I stay silent for a moment, then turn around to him with a blank expression.

"Is something different Sar? You're acting weird today. Is everything alright? Your so quiet." he sure is annoying sometimes, so nosey. Nows the time, I think..

No, I'm fine, I'm just the normal Sar... Invader Sar." my hologram and Jade/Kaos start flickering as I say this, and disappears. I grin a zipper-tooth smile as he gives a horrified expression. The earth boys eyes widen to the edges of his ginormous head.

"Whaaat! Your an alien! What are you doing here?! Why do you want to get rid of Zim?"

"Long story." I punch the wall beside me casually and it opens to a tube where we both walk into, him reluctantly. I start to explain.

"Zim is the worst irken to ever live. He's killed 2 of our leaders, caused 7 years of blackouts, and nearly destroyed the planet, just to name a few. And yet, over the past few days, I found out I don't want to kill him"

"soo, you you're not supposed to like him? "

"I'm not supposed to let him live, but I think he's harmless on this rock. But his leaders want him dead. And completely destroyed."

"Why'd they send him here?"

"they thought he would die before he would arrive at any habitable planet."

"I'm so confused" Dib says, rubbing his temples. theres silence for a minute as we descend into the heart of my base, but Dib has one more question.

"So, are you still going to destroy the Earth?"

"No. It's resources are limited, its size quite small. Its useless until we need more space."

"So, you want to disobey your leaders?" I think for a moment for a good excuse, but cant come up with one.

"Yeah.. I do. I mean, what kind of society bases their jobs on height? The tallest are tall but, petty and stupid. I think the only reason purples there is because he likes to have an endless supply of snacks!" I'm getting out of control, I think. No, thats my PAK talking. Maybe because I'm so far from the control brains, they no longer have complete control of my thoughts. interesting.

"Are you gonna save the earth from Zim?"

"Well, he has no place else to stay, so I'd be helping him if I could. We could also help the rebellion. Even that outcast group of resistees."

"Resistees?"

"yeah, I know, stupid name. They attacked the tallest when Zim tried to bring the Massive to Earth. That tiny ship that was supposed to land on your head? The resistees main ship. They are in a bunch of escape pods now on some distant planet, trying to destroy Operation Impending Doom II."

"Why two?"

"Zim destroyed half of planet Irk in Impending Doom 1."

"lemme guess, your planet?"

"yep."

We arrive at my main control center and step off the elevator. "Can I tell anyone about this?"

"No, or I'll recapture Zims evil demon squid and lock you up with it. Ive programmed my SIR units to do this in the case that I am captured, incapacitated, or dead. So, you'd be screwed."

"What about Gaz?"

"Your sister? If she doesnt tell anyone and agrees to help us, sure, I don't see why not." we discuss our next move and when to get Zim involved. We agree to next friday. He leaves before dinnertime, and I'm once again left alone with my robots. I eat some doughnuts and soda while watching that horrible show, Angry Monkey.

Time for me to do something productive. This TV makes your brain turn off. Its so boring. I look at random earth animals, looking for something furry. I find a chinchilla picture.

Hey Jade, I think i found out what my next SIR unit will be.


	4. Zuri the Hypnotic Robot

Its almost time for highskool, and I'm done with Zuri, or Zealot Uniting Rebel Irkens. She has dark royal blue eyes and has a chinchilla disguise. Shes very energetic but can be calm and comforting sometimes. I programmed her to hate the irken empire and find other rebel groups. She is also very small for a SIR unit, but she is very strong, she could easily pick up my ripper ship or parts of my base.

I've decided to completely abandon the Empire. "Resistees, its Sar reporting in." I discovered a link to call their new ship and sent them a message. They were alarmed and thought I was a spy but I eventually convinced them I wasn't going to tell the Tallest where they were.

"Hello, rebel."

"You guys can stop using the puppets to look scary." I say blankly.

"What puppets?" the leader says rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

In the backround I hear an annoying voice "Why can't we be the Pirate Monkeys!? Its an amazing name."

"Hi Gaz." I say as I lean against the wall next to her.

"What do you want? Can't you see I'm trying to kill vampire piggies?" She says it in a voice of pure anger and hatred.

"Yeah, I see that. But this is important. This is real."

Zuri jumps onto her shoulder and her slight hypnotic powers cause Gaz to pause her game. "Okay fine, what is it?"

"I know you've helped save the earth before."

"When?"

"with Zim and Dib. Dib told me about it."

"So?"

"Dib and I want to team up with you and Zim and create an unstoppable force to stop the earth from being taken over- and all the humans gameslaves to be destroyed."

"Gameslaves? destroyed!? They wouldnt dare."

"Yeah, they would. And without your help, they'll succeed."

"Ok, ill help then." She says eagerly. Maybe I made the hypnosis powers a little too strong. Oh well.

It was friday of the second week since she'd arrived at earth and Sar once again sat near Zim. He knew who she was, as least thought he knew. Sar noticed Zim acting weirdly. Well, weirder than normal. "Sar, do you know of anyone named Tak?"

"No, why?"

"well, you seem a lot like someone I knew."

"Oh wait, her.."

"WHO!?" Zim demanded.

"Why the irken semi- invader who tried to spoil your plans for world domination."

Zim gives a surprised look. "how do you know of this? Are you Tak!? Wheres Mimi?!" he settles down. "why haven't you tried to kill me?"

"Why should I?"

"Come to my house. After school." Zim proclaims. I take a sip of my soft drink and he finally notices the irken insignia on the bottom of the can.


End file.
